The End, Finally?

The hearing was today. Soda, Pony and I got dressed up as best we could. It was pretty small. Only a few people, important people.
All of the Socs told the truth, no garbage about 'It wasn't our fault' or 'We were just playing drip drip drop."
The judge asked me and Soda about Dally. I told him that yes, Dally was a good friend of ours. no sense lying. It all went by pretty quick. I think the judge decided to let Pony and Soda stay with me. I guess maybe he was sympathetic towards us.
Now I have other things to worry about. Like Ponyboy's schooling. He's failing most of his classes, and he knows it.
His English teacher told him that he could get a C if he chose a good topic for the semester. I've been trying to get him to work work work. Of course, I can't push him too hard. After all he's gone through, I don't blame him for having a lack of motivation.
It's been weeks and weeks. Every time he writes down something, he eventually just starts on a new page with a different title. Will he ever get a topic?
We fought about this the other night. I should know better, after everything we've gone through, but I couldn't help myself. I want him to pass english, and I want him to do it well. We were in over our heads, getting back into the usual routine....trying to make Soda choose sides. I really should have known...he was quiet all day; unusual for Soda. Somewhere amidst the fighting, Soda just broke. He ran out of the door and down the street. Oh no, not again.
We chased him down, and found him crying.
Today he had received the letters he had written to Sandy, all of them; unopened.
He wants to go see her. He told me this when Ponyboy wasn't near. Soda doesn't care if the kid isn't his. He loves her. He's leaving.
He's coming back. But he's leaving.
**********************************************************
Ponyboy's been writing away. It seems like he's finally getting the hang of it now.
**********************************************************
Pony won't tell me what he is writing about, but I have a strong guess it's not about his trip to the Zoo.
He has been getting better, but everything that has happened this year has taken a lot out of everyone. For some, a best friend. For others, their life. No, things will never be the same. Will we try harder to succeed in our goals, so we rise above our greaser titles, so we don't drown in them forever? Heck yes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is the end. Or is it?
I sure hope Soda is doing alright.
Toodlez!

Ponyboy is sick...I think I may need to get him a therapist

A few weeks later, someone knocked on the door. I opened it up, to reveal a Soc, though I didn't quite remember him. At least, he wasn't at the rumble.
"Hey..umm...Is Ponyboy here? My name's Randy..he knows me." He told me, occasionally glancing at the floor.
"Hold on for a second, I'll go see if he wants to come down?" I said, then dashed up the stairs to tell Ponyboy.
"You want to see him?" I asked.
"Yeah. Sure. Why not?" Ponyboy shrugged.
I payed close attention to the conversation from the other room. They talked about the hearing, and parents etc. etc. Then Randy started to talk about Johnny. Oh no. Ponyboy is convinced that he killed the Soc, no Johnny.
"Johnny is not dead. Johnny is not dead." Ponyboy repeated, his voice catching.
"hey, Randy, I think you'd better go now." I told him in a stern voice. Ponyboy is losing it.
"Sure...See you around Ponyboy." Randy said as he got up. I pulled him aside when we got close to the door.
"Don't ever say anything to him about johnny. He's still pretty racked up mentally and emotionally. The doctor said he'd get over it if we gave him some time.
And then I shut the door.

Paperbacks and Mushroom Soup

Ponyboy and I continue to talk about what he could remember (and what he couldn't) about that night.
We were talking about the time he was in the hospital when I remembered something.
"Johnny left you his copy of Gone With the Wind. told the nurses he wanted you to have it." Johnny hadn't left anything for me, but he didn't have to. We'd made our marks on eachother's hearts, and that was enough.
Ponyboy regarded the small paperback book on his bedside table, but made no move to pick it up.
"Where's Soda?" he had asked me after a while. I told him that Soda was sleeping, but of course, as if on cue, Sodapop came bounding into the room. I swear sometimes I think his name is like a dog whistle to him. I caught Soda just in time, before he was about to jump on Pony.
They started conversing, so I went down to make Ponyboy some soup.
When I came back with the soup, I found Soda and Ponyboy
fast asleep.

I Just Don't Know

I saw something go off in Ponyboy's eyes, after we began to talk more. Ah, I think he's finally figured it out. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. What is he thinking?
"Where'd I get a concussion?" he asked, seeming as though his mind was still elsewhere. "How long have I been asleep?"
I explained to him about how the day was Tuesday, and that he had been asleep and delirious since Saturday. I also told him how during the rumble a Soc kicked him in the head, resulting in Soda beating said Soc. hard.
"Don't you remember?" I asked him. Pony was slow to respond.
"No. Darry, I'm not ever going to be able to make up for the shcool I've missed. And I've still got to go to court and talk about Bob's getting killed. And now.....with Dally......Darry, do you think they'll split us up? Put me in a home or something?"
"I don't know, baby. I just don't know."


I just don't know.

HE'S AWAKE!

Ponyboy fainted after Dally was killed. Soda told me that Pony woke up once, but he told him to go back to sleep. Soda told me that he had asked if I was sorry he was sick.


After that I made sure I stationed myself by his bedside. I dragged the airchair up to the room he and Soda shared, and stayed there for most of the time; if he was going to wake up again, I wanted him to know that I was there.
****************************

Finally, he's awake!


I must have dozed off, but he woke me up, thankfully.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Gosh, kid. You scared us half to death." I said, exasperated.
"What was the matter with me?" Ponyboy asked, his brow furrowing. Surely he remembered about Dally's suicide? Surely he would remember fainting....wouldn't he?
Shaking my head, explained, "I told you you were in no condition for a rumble. Exhaustion, shock, minor concussion-- and Two-Bit came around blubbering over here with some story about how you were running a fever before the rumble and how it was all his fault you were sick. He was pretty torn up that night."
After a silence, I continued in a slightly smaller voice "We all were."

Stay Strong, Darry, Stay Strong

I have been reciting those words over and over in my mind. I can still hear Johnny's voice. I think it will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I -
The phone is ringing, one second.
Why is this happening? One of my best friends (and more) just died, and I wasn't there for him, and now I have had to watch Dally being shot numerous times by the people he strove his whole life to bother. But of course it's not the cops' fault. Dally is smarter than that. No. Dally wanted to die.
He called from a payphone. When I answered, he told me that he had just robbed a grocery store, and that the cops were after him. I had a pretty good idea of what he had done, and why.
We were going to meet him at the lot. We were going to hide him. It seemed pretty ironic, seeing as he could always do things on his own, and how he had hidden Pony and Johnny. But now, there was no hiding for Dallas Winston.
We arrived just as the fuzz fired their first rounds into his body. I never thought I would have to watch that. One minute, a good friend is standing upright, another second passes, and he's dead before he hits the ground. And there's nothing me or anyone could have done. Maybe if we had been quicker.
I'm jealous, but I know I shouldn't be. It bothers me how Dally could just let go like that. I can't do that. I have Soda and Pony to look after. Soda, who is heartbroken, depressed, all because of Sandy. He tries to appear happy and carefree, but I know him. And Ponyboy, who just lost his best friend.
I want to let go. To not have to see anything anymore. Not hear anything. Not smell anything. Not think anything. Not feel anything.
I've gotten like this before. When mom and dad were....when they.....passed. That's the reason I was so hard on Ponyboy....I didn't want to get too attached.....didn't want him to get too attached to me. With Soda, it was already too late.
Again, I ask the question; Why am I still alive?

NO! NO! NO! NO! NOT MY JOHNNYCAKES! WHY??

I knew as soon as Ponyboy came through the doorway what had happened, and since Dally wasn't with him, I could pretty much guess what had happened to Dally too.
Johnny is dead.
No. No. No.
This must all be just a sick joke. Maybe Johnny hinted at our secret...
Maybe this was just the guys' way of trying to get me to confess. No, no, no, no, no!
Why?? I've been trying to convince myself this would happen for the past while, so it would hurt less when the time came..but...it's worse than I ever imagined.
Why do people die? It's just not fair. Why aren't I dead? I've lived longer than Johnny, and my parents never beat me. Why is it fair that after all he's gone through, he should die?
I should be the one dead.

Rumble Tumble Toil and....Bumble....

It is now after the rumble.
Ponyboy and Dally headed down to the hospital to see Johnny.
I really should have gone with them, but I'm needed here.
I was chosen to start the rumble, of course, due to my manly muscles.
And I faced Paul. PAUL! Hahahahahahahahaha. We used to play football together. It's kind of ironic how things turned out (dude, I was sooooo better than him at football)
But Paul hit me! Well, I guess it had to happen, in order to start the rumble. But I thumped him good.
The rumble went by fairly quickly. I tried hard not to get too messed up, and I made sure I beat them Socs into the ground.
I trusted Pony to be smart about who he chose to fight.
AND DALLY CAME! I knew he would want to come to the rumble. Nothing could have kept him away, even if he was in a wheelchair.
I'm tired, and I should probably tend to Steve's ribs a bit (I think maybe one or two of them may be broken, but hey, I'm no doctor.) and good lord, TwoBit did a number on his hand! The thing is busted open!
Ponyboy and Dally should be back soon, I'd better go.
Ciao.

FlippyDoodle

Okay, My last blog was getting a wee bit too long, so I decided to start a new one.
H'okay ! So, from where I last left off, about my weak immune system when it comes to arguements in which Soda favours the opposition, after that, we started discussing Tim Shepard's gang. About how his little brother Curly wouldn't be there because he's a stupid little chicken nugget.
WHO WOULD NAME A CHILD CURLY?!?!?! AND I THOUGHT PONYBOY WAS AN IDIOTIC NAME!! I WAS ALL LIKE, DAD, WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU NAMING MY WEE BROTHER PONYBOY YO!!!!????
Sodapop sounds like a cute name though.....
I don't like my name; Darrel. I want to be Bartholomew. Or Abraham or something. Bah! No sense dwelling on things that cannot be changed.
Oh! I just made an excellent joke about Soda's brain being non-existent. He is quite 'mad' at me now. Time to show off a bit. I decided to do a somersault in the air off of the front steps. The others followed suit. Back a summer or two ago I took a class at the YMCA, that taught me how to do all of those crazy stunts, I then schooled the gang on the moves in case it would help them in the future.
"I am a greaser. I am a JD and a hood. I blacken the fair name of our city. I beat up people. I rob gas stations. I am a menace to society. Man, do I have fun!" Soda bellowed loudly to the world. "Greaser..greaser..greaser...O victim of environment, underprivileged, rotten, no-count hood!" Steve came in second. Now was my turn.
"Juvenile delinquent, you're no good!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"Get thee hence, white trash," Two bit said in his best impression of a Soc. "I am a Soc. I am the privileged and the well-dressed. I throw beer blasts, drive fancy cars, break windows at fancy parties." Ponyboy said his bit next, in a serious awestruck voice.
"And what do you do for fun?"
"I JUMP GREASERS!!!!!!" Two-Bit screamed with all the power in the world. I felt a sharp pang as I remembered that fateful night months ago when we found Johnny beaten to a pulp by the same greaser he had killed. That fiend deserved everything he got, and more. I thought to myself. No. No one deserves to die. Especially not Johnny. This world is cruel, tough. Maybe if we all thought like Dallas, we'd be better off. But wait. No. Dally isn't almighty. He loves Johnny too. Maybe not the way I do. But he still cares for him. Dally was almost in tears when he saw Johnny that night also. I was just awestruck. Dally was angry. Dally was devastated, I- My inner thoughts were interrupted, as we had reached our destination. Now, we had to wait.

Ponyboy Isn't Mature Enough To Shave.

The Rumble is set for seven O’clock sharp. It’s almost 5:00 right now, so I guess I better start making dinner. What shall we have tonight? Soc head with a side of green beans? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Anyways, I decided on making chicken with potatoes and corn...same difference.......
Ponyboy is late for supper. Again. Ah! Finally. It’s 6:00 and he is home.
DINNNNNNEEERRRRRRRRRR!
During supper I noticed that Ponyboy seemed to be unable to eat. I’ll have to force feed him cheese through a tube later while he’s sleeping....
We must now get all primped up. We always get cleaned up and all that jazz before a rumble. Shows them stuck-up Socs that we aren’t just dirty greasers.
"Soda, when did you start shaving?" What the heck kind of question is that for Ponyboy to ask Soda?
"When I was fifteen." Ha. Ponyboy wouldn’t start when he was fifteen too, I was sure of that.
"When did Darry?"
"When he was thirteen....why? You figgerin’ on growing on growing a beard for the rumble?" Ah. I got made fun of a lot for that in school.......
After that I pretty much stopped paying attention. Ponyboy was going on about CosmoGirl or something like that.
What to wear, what to wear?
Hmmm.....do I put on the black T-shirt or the gray one?
Black. Steve is here. Soda and him are playing cards and blasting music so loud I should probably go turn it down. But I won’t. It’s a custom to listen to music pretty loudly, even louder still before a rumble.
"Darry, why do you like fighting?" That from Ponyboy.
"He likes to show off his muscles." Soda sneered cheerily. Time to make a cheesy threat.
"I’m gonna show ‘em off on you, little buddy, if you get any mouthier." Soda smiled slightly to himself, then turned back to Steve. Ponyboy looked a little distant to me.
He’s been through too much lately. He shouldn’t take part in this rumble.
"I don’t think you ought to be in this rumble, Pony." I told him, looking straight into his eyes to let him know that I really was worried.
"How come? I’ve always come through before, ain’t I?" I really should teach him to not say ‘ain’t’. No one people think we are stupid. But he was right. He always came through for us when it came to a fight or the cops. He was a good kid.
"Yeah." I was grinning with pride now, for him, "You fight real good for a kid your size. But you were in shape before. You’ve lost weight and you don’t look so great, kid. You’re tensed up too much." I saw him sink a little, then straighten, and I knew he was trying to get me to believe that he was strong enough mentally to do this. I knew he wanted to fight, even though secretly he doesn't like to.
"Shoot, we all get tensed up before a rumble. Let him fight tonight. Skin never hurt anyone- no weapons, no danger." Soda said, half trying to reason with me, half trying to distract Steve while he extracted the ace from his shoe.
Eventually, I gave in.

Fidgeting and Thinking

Today is the rumble.
After seeing Johnny yesterday....ah, man, it just broke me.
I want to beat some Socs heads in. I know it wasn't entirely they're fault...but....nah, what's the point? I'm not going to lie; it would make me feel a whole heck of a lot better. Of course I'll pretend not to enjoy it too much, in the beginning. I still have to set a good example for Pony and Soda.
The other day we had to go to Juvenile court, for Ponyboy. I was honestly terrified that they might try and separate Soda Pony and I.
WEEEELLLLLLLLL,
It would be ncie to haev the house all to myself......
But without Johnny, there's no reason to want to be alone.
What am I saying??? I don't want Soda and Pony to go off to different houses to live with random people who never raised them and they have no idea how they tick ! Besides, Johnny and I were pretty stealth anyways.
I should probably go......
Toodlez peeps.
Loves ya.
Except you Steve. I don't love you.

Lunch Break Blues

It's lunch break now, all the other guys have climbed down the ladder to the east side of the lawn, where they where lined up eating their meatloaf-on-rye.
I gotta get outta here. Jumping up from my cross-legged position on the lawn, I ran over to my supervisor.
"Something has happened. I need to go, for personal reasons. I'll be back as soon as possible." At first he wouldn't let me go. But since we had an extra worker that day, and he must have seen the desperate look on my face, he gave in.
I hopped in my car and drove. Drove as fast as I dared to the hospital. Johnny was just a block away. Johnny...I'm coming, I'm coming.
I turned the corner and drove straight into a parking place. I was a bit crooked, but who has time to park straight when they are rushing to a hospital?
"Hello Sir, is something wrong?" a thoughtful-looking nurse in around her thirties asked me.
"I-- I have to see Johnny." I gasped. When i recovered a bit, I told her his full name, and the room number he was in. She lead me down that shockingly white corridor. Why is everything so white in a hospital? Everything is so clean, and the smell is sickly calm.
"Wait here for a minute, Sir." She spoke, and it took me a moment to remember that she was even there. she disappeared within the room, closing the door lightly behind her. I waited for a minute or two, getting antsy and impatient. Johnny could be dead any minute.
After what seemed like an eternity, the nurse slipped out of the room, and held the door open for me. That was just the invitation I needed. Granted, well, I wouldn't have needed an invitation. If she had come out saying that it just wasn't possible that he could see Johnny, he would have gotten in. One way...or another.
"J-Johnny?" I stammered. He was bad. He was laying on his stomach on the hospital bed, and from what I was able to see, his neck was badly burnt.
"D-" he started to reply, but the words caught in his throat.
"Don't talk, Johnny." I murmured. Gosh, he was in so much pain. The doctor saw that I wasn't going to hurt Johnny, so he left the room. Bingo. "Why, Johnny, why?" I asked, not meaning or him to answer. I knew he couldn't. I directed the question to no one in particular. If there was or is a God, he will hear me. But for now, I can't be sure.
"D-Darry," he managed.
"No, Johnny, don't talk. It will hurt you." I tried to convince him, secretly hoping he would talk, so I could hear his voice, no matter how muddled it was.
"No, Darry, I need to talk." He said, pausing every so often to catch his breath or to wince. "I'm sorry for all of this."
"What are you talking about? You're sorry? Blast it, Johnny! I'm the reason this all happened. If I hadn't hit Ponyboy...." My voice faltered, and I trailed off. I barely noticed the tears that were beginning to fall down my cheeks.
" Don't blame yourself. If Ponyboy hadn't been there with me...I would have gone to the park alone. Them Socs would have found me, all of them. If Ponyboy hadn't been there....I would be a smear on the pavement by now...oh, sorry.." He told me, then apologized when I winced at the thought of him as a smear.
I went and sat down on the hospital bed next to him.
"It will all be okay, Darry...you'll get over it. Please don't ruin your life because of this..stay strong, Darry, stay strong." He said, and then seemed to droop a bit.
"I can't promise that , Johnny..I just can't.." I said softly, putting my hand over his for a minute or two. "Listen, you're tired. You need to get some sleep, Johnny." I squeezed his hand gently then slowly got up.
How will I ever go on?

Work

Yes, that's just it. No snazzy title for this post, no quick-witted meaning. Just work. I'm at work. Working away. Working away the anger and sadness. Today Pony told me not to carry too many bundles of roofing today. But it's the only thing I have to keep my mind off everything, at least for a little. If I can substitute this pain with other pain not relating to the first pain, I can temporarily forget.
Oh, I have to go. Joe is called me to go patch up the left side of the roof.
Bye.

Imma Beat Those Socs Upside The Head.

The rumble is coming up soon, though it feels a million years away. I'm itching to pound someone into the ground. I know that those Socs weren't the reason Johnny is dying, but they played a part in it. I also played a part, when I hit Pony. I would beat myself up, but Soda and Ponyboy need the money I make from my job.
You know, normally I don't like fights,
but hey, THAT WAS MY MAN THEY BEAT UP!
Ever since that fateful night that the same Soc that Johnny killed had beat him to a pulp, I'd wanted revenge. I would talk to Johnny for hours on end about how one day I would find that blue mustang, and send it to the great big scrapyard in the sky. He always just stared into my eyes and told me not to be silly. He would try to put on a brave smile, but I could tell he was shuddering on the inside.
He has a chance of living, Johnny does. But I know he's going to die. I've said the words over in my mind over and over, over and over. It just...just....doesn't...compute. My life without Johnny?
No. It just doesn't make sense. I'm lucky I have my own room. I can cry freely every night. But Soda....he shares a bed with Ponyboy. the week when Ponyboy was gone, Soda cried every night. I could hear him. But I knew it wasn't because Pony and Johnny had left. It's stupid Sandy.
Remember back in my old post, how I talked about Soda getting his girl, Sandy, pregnant?
It wasn't Soda.
It seems sickly ironic. How Soda is always surrounded by girls, and how he could have any girl he wanted, and yet he chose Sandy. The sick part is that she doesn't seem to care as much as he does. At least, it doesn't seem that way to him or me or any of us. How could a girl who truly loved a guy go and get pregnant by another guy? The short of it is that she has moved to live with her Grandma in Florida. Soda is a mess. She won't even respond to his letters.
He thought it was his....he would have married her. He still would marry her. He would raise another chump's kid, if only he could be with her. I know that.
This could have happened to anyone.....just not Soda. Why Soda ? He never did anything to anyone.
I swear if I ever find out who that son of a gun is that ruined this for Soda, I won't spare any mercy. No one hurts my little brother like that, regardless of whether he realizes it or not, without getting condemned.
I'm weary, and I'm getting angrier by the second by writing this. So I shall bid you all adieu,
my sexy chummy chums and chumettes. (ESPECIALLY YOU, JOHNNYCAKES!! I WILL NEVER LOVER ANOTHER!! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY THUNDER!!)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOHHNNYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY LOOOOOOVEEEE!!!!!!!!!
*pauses to listen to Justin Timberlake*
Ahhem,
NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
SADDDDDDDDDNEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
DEPRESSSIOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!
GOBBBLEEDYYGOOOOKKKKKKKK!!!
IWANNAHIPPOPTAMUSFORCHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONLYAHIPPOPTAMUSWILDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOHNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FHOGFJIKJDHLJTOUODZJLNWARLJGHOFBKXSDZOFFHSEXYDGZDFHTOBJZOH!!!
DGETHOSRTJN
SDFHJDOH
FGFJHHKGHFKGCH
XFH
CGJ
CGHJXFGG
JUXJXHAD~~!!!!!!!!!!!!


kthxbai.

NO!! NOO !!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Okay, Okay.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We waited forever to get in to see Johnny. The reporters were everywhere. I tried my best to keep them from swarming Pony too much. I could see that he was tired, and who wouldn't be ?
Eventually, I told the reporters to slow down a little, remembering to flex my manly muscles a bit, you know, just to show them I meant business.
Pony made them laugh though, once, when they asked him what he would do if he could do anything at that moment . "Take a bath." he had replied. I , myself laughed too. But when I saw his weary face, I knew he meant it.

Mental note, force Ponyboy into the tub when we get home.


Even Soda gets bored with 15 minutes of fame. Well, soda doesn't just get 15 minutes. Gosh, with his looks, his whole life he's been ogled at by random people. But he got tired and fell asleep on my lap.
I said softly to Pony "He didn't get much sleep the whole week. " And I noticed a guilty look on his face. I was about to tell him that it was okay, when Soda interrupted, pointing out that I hadn't gotten much sleep either. I would have shot Soda a warning glance, but I was too drained to spare the energy.
I vowed that one day if I ever became a nurse, I'd actually talk to people. The nurses at this hospital wouldn't tell us anything about Johnny. Eventually I got fed up with the wild goose chase and pulled aside a doctor.
"What is wrong with Johnny?" I said, again flexing my manly muscles. He didn't seem to care about my muscles much. He just said in a bored tone, as if he repeated the same sentence over and over each day to numerous people,
"I am only going to talk to the family of the patient."
"Listen, Johnny's birth family doesn't care about him. His old man doesn't search for him when it's been weeks since Johnny entered his house, and his mother would rather him not come home at all. We care about him. We help him. We respect him. We are the closest thing he has to a true family. That, what he has at home, is not family. So please tell us, what is wrong with Johnny? " I did not mention that I felt a little more than brotherly towards Johnny...but I thought that was need to know information. Information which the doctor did not need to know.
"Well, first, the mean looking one, he'll be fine after two or three weeks in the hospital." One of his arms was badly burned, but he would be able to have full use of it in two to three weeks. Though, he would be scarred for life..
When the doctor told us about Johnny's condition, I tried not to burst out into hysterical crying. 'Tis just not manly. But guys, this is where the title of this post comes into effect, because holy crap,
JOHNNY IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, there is a good chance he'll die. The other chance is that he will be crippled from the waist down for the rest of his life if he does live.
NOT MY JOHNNY CAKES!!!!
MY SEXY CORNEA MIESTER!!!
THE LOST PUPPY!!!!!!

Oh no. The tears are starting. Gotta fight 'em.
Okay, I managed to stave off the tears. I will cry tonight, while Pony and Soda are sleeping.
Agh, I gotta go. If I stay on here, I think I'll start typing nonsense. Gibberish. Gobbldeygook.


Good day to you sirs and madams
bye.



Your heartbroken and distressed,
DarryBear.

Cupcakes and Corneas

I'm beginning to really miss Johnny.
I mean, I always took his presence for granted. Now that he has been ripped from my day-to-day life, I am a mess without him. He has such amazing eyes...
So dark..
So deep....
So...intriguing.

I MISS THOSE PRETTY CORNEAS!!!!!!!!!

Maybe when Ponyboy and Johnny come back I'll make then cupcakes. Chocolate cupcakes. Moist, perfect, chocolatey cupcakes. I can just picture the fluffyyy cakeyness. I think I'll start right now. Soda is out of the house, running amok with Stevie and Two-Bit. Those silly boys. Hopefully they don't get jailed again. Ugh. I hate having to drag then outta there.

Such beautiful corneas......

Alright! I'm away laughing on a fast camel !



But wait....These blogs are supposed to be about how Ponyboy is doing. Aw dagnabbit.
Dally went off to see the boys today. I told him to take 'em to Dairy Queen. I know how Johnny likes his ice cream. Hopefully nothing bad happens. Dally wouldn't tell me where they are. It's driving me insane. I'm not going to end this blog yet, not until I find out what happened to Ponyboy and He-Who-Has-Sexy-Corneas.
Fairtheewell!
I SHALL BE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

____________________________________________________________________



It is the next day. I am about to go visit Ponyboy in the hospital. I can't believe what has happened. I just can't believe it.
Everything is going wrong.
Sandy's off to Florida, because Soda was stupid enough to get her pregnant.
Ponyboy, Johnny and Dally are in the Hospital.
And They're all in the paper, too!
How could this all have happened?!?!?!
Soda gave Dally a letter to give to Ponyboy, I hope he got it.
Before I get ahead of my self (ha...too late....) I will explain the whole story.
Apparently, according to Dally, yesterday he took Pony and He-Who-Has-Sexy-Corneas to the closest DairyQueen to where they were staying. I hope Johnny enjoyed his meal....
Anyways, after, when they were driving back to the place where they had been located for the past few weeks (which I recently discovered was an old abandoned church.) they saw smoke, and realized the church was on fire. I don't know what was going through his mind, but Pony jumped out of the car to the church. Why did Pony have to be so damn noble? Why??
He ran into the church, while it was on fire. Dally said there was a couple of runts that had strayed from their kiddy school trip. Johnny rushed in after Pony...oh no, why Johnny?
They rescued the kids...but all three ended up in the hospital.
I know I'm to blame. It wasn't those Socs. It was me. I'm the reason Pony left that night. I'm the reason he was out on the street. I hit him. How could I live with myself if anything serious had happened to him?
The paper picked up on the story real quick, too. 'Juvenile Delinquents Turned Heroes.' How ridiculous is that ? They didn't just up and turn into heroes. And they weren't delinquents. Not Johnny and Ponyboy.
Soda and me are going to see Pony soon. I don't think I'll be able to see him. The last time i saw him I smacked him across the head. I bet he hates me, worse, I bet he thinks I hate him.
I gotta face up to my fears though. I need to see him.
Girls just wanna have fun they just wanna, they just wanna, girls just wanna have fun.



We're back from the hospital. We have Pony with us, but he fell asleep in the car. He barely made it up the front steps. When we got to the hospital, Pony and Soda hugged each other something fierce. I wanted to hug him, but I felt that he might try to get away from me. We eventually made up though. I almost cried.The doctors wouldn't tell us...but Johnny isn't going to make it. I know that for a fact. I'm tired. I can't deal with all of this right now....

Where Could He Be ?

Oh Em Gee
Oh Em Gee
Oh Em Gee
Ponyboy.
Ponyboy.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am slowly going crazy 123456 SWITCH! Crazy going slowly am I 654321 SWITCH!



Where could Ponyboy have gone to? I have officially looked everywhere for him.

Okay, Okay, Okay.
Calm down Darry, You can get through this. Remember your mantra.
Girls just wanna have fun. Girls just wanna, they wanna have fun, they wanna, wanna have fun!

Okay. Take a breath. Inhale. Exhale. Mantra. Inhale. Exhale.

So let me tell you what happened after Ponyboy left. If you don't know why Ponyboy left, stop being lazy and read my first post. If you're still too lazy to read that, go get eaten by a kitten.

Anyways.....after Ponyboy left, Soda and I just both stared into space. I still couldn't bring myself to preform even the simplest of actions. Finally, Soda said:
"What did you do that for Darry?"
"I..I.....I didn't mean....to......." I had to keep myself from blubbering manly tears. MANTRA!! Mantra! I gulped, then finally got control over my mouth. " We need to find him."
"Okay, but first let me take a shower. This amount of beauty doesn't just happen by itself, Darrypoo."

"Fine, I'll go sort my beanie baby collection..." Well, I muttered the last part......hoping he wouldn't hear me.....too late.

"What??" Soda turned around again, eyes as round as flapjacks.

"Uh.....*cue manly clearing of throat* .... I have to go find some baby...carrots......." Smooth, Darry, real smooth.

"o-kay....." Soda replied, slowly backing up towards the door to the bathroom.

*AFTER MUCH BEAUTIFICATION*

Alright, now that Sodapop has made himself all handsome, and I have sorted my beanie babies by size and colour, we are ready to go! Hopefully much hasn't happened to Ponyboy since I hit him....Oh no....here comes the grief.....

We just talked to Dally. I have a feeling he knows more than he's telling. He says that he had to help Pony and Johnny get out of town.

What have I done ?

Superman Comes Undone

As you already know, my name is Darry Molly Curtis. You already know that I appear to be cold as stone. But I didn't tell you why I must be cold and appear unfeeling.

First of all, my parents died six months ago. I was real close with my dad, and it killed me that someone so kind could just be swept away by an oncoming automobile. His life just snuffed up by metal versus metal. I picture my mother, making eggs in the morning for us all, me, my dad and my two little brothers: Ponyboy and Sodapop. Ponyboy is fourteen, and Soda is 16. I'm the oldest, at 18. That means that if I wnat this family to stay together, I must act like a parent. I have already quit school, and added on an extra job.

I have this sinking feeling that Ponyboy believes that I don't care about him. I swear I do, it's just, I have to act as the father figure. Also, as a greaser, well, greaser's don't cry. We just don't. Sure, JohnnyCakes did when he was jumped by the Socs, but that beating went too far. So, instead of 'talking about my feelings', I suck it up.

I guess since I 've alreays given you enough background knowledge, I should get started on what this entry is about. I just crossed a line, and made a huge mistake. I did something I shouldn't have. Tonight was like any other night; Ponyboy was late. This time he was later than usual. It was roughly 2:00 in the morning. Where was he? I set rules in place, I made a curfew for a reason. How could I sit around wondering if he had been jumped?

When he came in the door...I flipped. I completely lost it. I know I shouldn't have..but it was too late. I was gone too far. I yelled at him, no, I screamed at him. The voluem of my voice was rising. Soda jumped in to the rescue of Ponyboy. Soda always sides with Ponyboy. Always. I couldn't help it. I shouted at Soda too. Then..I hit him.

I hit Ponyboy.

I hit Ponyboy.

The thought ran through my mind. I just couldn't process it. I had slapped Ponyboy, my kid brother. Before I could come to my senses, Ponyboy was headed straight for the front door.

Do something. Say something. Anything! I thought to myself, trying to force my body to do my bidding. But I couldnt. Instead, I uttered a single word, hoping that he would understand.

"Ponyboy..." That was all. I couldnt bring myself to say anything else. No no no no no. DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!

But he was already gone.

When would he come back? What had I done?