Superman Comes Undone

As you already know, my name is Darry Molly Curtis. You already know that I appear to be cold as stone. But I didn't tell you why I must be cold and appear unfeeling.

First of all, my parents died six months ago. I was real close with my dad, and it killed me that someone so kind could just be swept away by an oncoming automobile. His life just snuffed up by metal versus metal. I picture my mother, making eggs in the morning for us all, me, my dad and my two little brothers: Ponyboy and Sodapop. Ponyboy is fourteen, and Soda is 16. I'm the oldest, at 18. That means that if I wnat this family to stay together, I must act like a parent. I have already quit school, and added on an extra job.

I have this sinking feeling that Ponyboy believes that I don't care about him. I swear I do, it's just, I have to act as the father figure. Also, as a greaser, well, greaser's don't cry. We just don't. Sure, JohnnyCakes did when he was jumped by the Socs, but that beating went too far. So, instead of 'talking about my feelings', I suck it up.

I guess since I 've alreays given you enough background knowledge, I should get started on what this entry is about. I just crossed a line, and made a huge mistake. I did something I shouldn't have. Tonight was like any other night; Ponyboy was late. This time he was later than usual. It was roughly 2:00 in the morning. Where was he? I set rules in place, I made a curfew for a reason. How could I sit around wondering if he had been jumped?

When he came in the door...I flipped. I completely lost it. I know I shouldn't have..but it was too late. I was gone too far. I yelled at him, no, I screamed at him. The voluem of my voice was rising. Soda jumped in to the rescue of Ponyboy. Soda always sides with Ponyboy. Always. I couldn't help it. I shouted at Soda too. Then..I hit him.

I hit Ponyboy.

I hit Ponyboy.

The thought ran through my mind. I just couldn't process it. I had slapped Ponyboy, my kid brother. Before I could come to my senses, Ponyboy was headed straight for the front door.

Do something. Say something. Anything! I thought to myself, trying to force my body to do my bidding. But I couldnt. Instead, I uttered a single word, hoping that he would understand.

"Ponyboy..." That was all. I couldnt bring myself to say anything else. No no no no no. DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!

But he was already gone.

When would he come back? What had I done?