Imma Beat Those Socs Upside The Head.

The rumble is coming up soon, though it feels a million years away. I'm itching to pound someone into the ground. I know that those Socs weren't the reason Johnny is dying, but they played a part in it. I also played a part, when I hit Pony. I would beat myself up, but Soda and Ponyboy need the money I make from my job.
You know, normally I don't like fights,
but hey, THAT WAS MY MAN THEY BEAT UP!
Ever since that fateful night that the same Soc that Johnny killed had beat him to a pulp, I'd wanted revenge. I would talk to Johnny for hours on end about how one day I would find that blue mustang, and send it to the great big scrapyard in the sky. He always just stared into my eyes and told me not to be silly. He would try to put on a brave smile, but I could tell he was shuddering on the inside.
He has a chance of living, Johnny does. But I know he's going to die. I've said the words over in my mind over and over, over and over. It just...just....doesn't...compute. My life without Johnny?
No. It just doesn't make sense. I'm lucky I have my own room. I can cry freely every night. But Soda....he shares a bed with Ponyboy. the week when Ponyboy was gone, Soda cried every night. I could hear him. But I knew it wasn't because Pony and Johnny had left. It's stupid Sandy.
Remember back in my old post, how I talked about Soda getting his girl, Sandy, pregnant?
It wasn't Soda.
It seems sickly ironic. How Soda is always surrounded by girls, and how he could have any girl he wanted, and yet he chose Sandy. The sick part is that she doesn't seem to care as much as he does. At least, it doesn't seem that way to him or me or any of us. How could a girl who truly loved a guy go and get pregnant by another guy? The short of it is that she has moved to live with her Grandma in Florida. Soda is a mess. She won't even respond to his letters.
He thought it was his....he would have married her. He still would marry her. He would raise another chump's kid, if only he could be with her. I know that.
This could have happened to anyone.....just not Soda. Why Soda ? He never did anything to anyone.
I swear if I ever find out who that son of a gun is that ruined this for Soda, I won't spare any mercy. No one hurts my little brother like that, regardless of whether he realizes it or not, without getting condemned.
I'm weary, and I'm getting angrier by the second by writing this. So I shall bid you all adieu,
my sexy chummy chums and chumettes. (ESPECIALLY YOU, JOHNNYCAKES!! I WILL NEVER LOVER ANOTHER!! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY THUNDER!!)